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With the excitement of the holiday season, Christmas is a time that stands out from other events of the year. Sometimes as early as October, decorations are put up here and there, Christmas tunes are being heard, the race for gifts is on and gatherings to celebrate the holidays are multiplying. So many stimuli reminding us that Christmas is just around the corner and that this season should be joyful!

As a bereaved person, this may be a milestone that we anticipate with great sadness. It might be difficult to imagine Christmas without your loved one's presence. We are familiar with their presence by our side during family traditions, but this first Christmas without them will certainly tarnish the "merry" of our Christmas.

Although we miss their presence around the table, we still can honour them and give them a meaningful place. We're sharing some examples of rituals to remember and honour our loved one during these celebrations.

1. Prepare their favorite meal or dessert

Everyone has a favorite meal or dessert. Although the traditional turkey or the famous meat pie is part of our traditions, there's no reason why you can't enjoy the pepperoni pizza he loved so much! Concocting the great fruitcake recipe of the one who passed away in the months leading up to Christmas would also be a great way to pay tribute to him or her.

2. A playlist of his or her favourite songs

This playlist is sure to evoke emotions related to the memories shared with the deceased. Dr. Petr Janata explains, "What seems to happen is that a familiar piece of music becomes the soundtrack to a mental movie that starts playing in our heads. It calls up memories of a person or place, and suddenly you see that person's face with your mind's eye."

3. Share our fondest memories as a family

Christmas without the other may cause emotional exchanges and great sadness. Let's give ourselves the freedom to experience the emotions that arise, even if it's Christmas. It's better to live with your grief than to wrap it up, even if it was in the most beautiful wrapping paper. Sharing our fondest memories with our loved one can be a blessing. Let everyone be inspired by:

              "At Christmas, I think of him because..."
              "My fondest memory of him..."
              "When I was little, he always said..."
              "The time she ..."
              "The best gift I ever received from him..."
              "The best gift I ever gave her..."

4. Have the children draw their best memory with the person they are grieving

They too are grieving the loss of the person who died, so let's involve them in the discussion and sharing of memories. When words are hard to find, one way to initiate the sharing of memories can be through drawing. Ask the children if they would like to draw a memory of the person who has passed away. These drawings could be used to create a memory book (see below).

5. Put up the tree with a personalized ornament in the loved one's image

Plan to create personalized ornaments. Think, for example, of an ornament with a photo of your child and his or her grandmother. And why not add the sweet nickname she had for him.

6. Create a collection of memories for you and your loved ones

Over time, we accumulate many memories in the form of photos, letters and keepsakes that remind us of our relationship with our loved ones. Commemorating these memories in a memory book can be a great source of comfort. Let's not neglect the children's drawings, the gentle words and everything that evokes the memory!

Memories to share

Giving a personalized gift to bereaved loved ones to honour life will be meaningful during this difficult time. A simple phrase written on a mug can trigger a cascade of memories. A memory transposed on a throw pillow can be comfortingly woven into in our new daily lives.  

Creating a personalized gift to make someone you love feel good is also making yourself feel good.

Did you know that if you are away this holiday season, you can order your unique gifts and have them delivered anywhere in Canada to your loved one's doorstep, just a heartbeat away!