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When you want to send a caring message to a grieving loved one or to a family that is suffering from the loss of a significant other, a general and universal text will certainly be a welcome thought.

Even when expected, a death is an event that shakes us up and plunges us into many reflections. However, the word that comes from the heart, no matter how small and unrhymed, is often more beautiful and meaningful than the word that originates from elsewhere.

Words can sometimes be difficult to find, this is a normal reaction, and it is filled with humanness to seek the best words. Remember that those from the heart are the most genuine and the most touching.

Here are 10 simple and effective ideas to inspire you:

1. Share a specific memory between you and the deceased person

"I remember when I was a kid, he came to my 6th birthday party with a huge crookedly wrapped fire truck."

"I didn't know her very well, but I can tell you that she brightened up our mornings with her infectious smile."

"She's your mom, I never met her, but when you talked about her, it was so full of goodness."

2. Describe your first encounter and/or impression of this person

"When I first met him, he was starting to date your mom."

"Right away, from our first team meetings, I felt his passion and dedication for our work."

"You always told me that you fell in love at first sight."

3. Summarize your last meeting and/or conversation with this person

"We spoke just two weeks ago, and she told me she wanted to add flowers to her garden."

"We talked about death the last time we met, and I guarantee you she was not afraid, she had such serenity in her."

"You had a special privilege to hold her hand and say Goodbye, remember that precious moment."

4. Name one memory the bereaved person has already shared with you about their loved one.

"I remember you once told me how you loved to exchange books and discuss them with each other. I know you will miss that."

"His ring, wear it proudly!"

"If it's ever too difficult, remember that fishing incident with him!"

5. List things, places, events or words that will always make you think of the deceased person

"I will have no choice but to think of her the next time I pass through Ottawa."

"Her name will always resonate our beautiful moments and I will continue to talk about her wholeheartedly, she is a part of my life."

"I don't know if you knew this, but every first Thursday of the month we would go shopping together!"

6. Name things for which the deceased was known

"He was the best at singing call-and-response songs."

"Boy, will I miss her spinach dip!"

"Our evenings won't be the same without his countless jokes."

7. Tell the truth:

"I don't know what to say, I can't find the words, but know that I am here for you."

"You know my number, never hesitate to use it."

"I don't know much about you, but please know that if there is anything I can do for you, I will."

8. Quote the words of a songwriter, poet, or author

9. Define a quality or characteristic of the deceased and use the dictionary definition as a guide

"Lovable: Easy to love: adorable, sweet." and that's exactly what he was!

"Professional: a serious person who, in addition to his more technical competence, possesses moral qualities on which they can rely." This is what he exuded every day in our daily lives.

"Caring: who is filled with attention." That is what characterizes him.

10. Pass on a souvenir photo and describe the circumstances of the photo

It is often said that a picture is worth a thousand words. In these difficult moments, photos are even more meaningful. Imagine sharing a photo with the bereaved that they have never seen; it will certainly be worth more than a thousand words.

Can we give a gift of condolence?

If, in addition to a message of condolence, one might like to give a gift to express one's sympathy, it is possible to transform mementos into precious keepsakes to be cherished at Odela.

Whatever one’s choice of words or gift, sending condolences to someone who is grieving is a thoughtful gesture that reflects your appreciation and love for them.

Special thanks to Josée Masson, Founder and CEO of Deuil-Jeunesse for this article.

Also read: "What to give to someone who is in grief?"