Blog

Because the loss of a pet is a very real grief, the moments following this pet loss are painful and each of us experiences it differently. Pets occupy a special place in our families and our daily lives. When they pass away, we feel as if we have lost our bearings.

So many situations can make us ache from the absence of our companion and make us sad. Whether it's going for a walk without them, not having them welcome us when we arrive, the day of their birthday, etc. After all, aren't there many of us who have considered them as our "baby"?

Let's give ourselves the right to live our sadness, let's welcome it and let's cry if we need to, because it relieves and eventually allows us to transform the memories that are currently bringing tears, into precious moments that we had the privilege of sharing with them.

Pet loss, a grief that is still not well understood

When we witness the great suffering of a person facing a pet loss, we realize that the presence of the animal in their life was perhaps much more important than we thought. As with any grief, time and support from family and friends help to heal the relational wound of pet loss.

The important thing to remember when a family member or friend experiences pet loss is to avoid minimizing the pain that is real. Some people will say:

"It was just a dog!"

"Are you going to get another cat soon?

"You'll get over it!"

But when you lose an animal, it's not just a dog, cat, horse or other. It was a living being, a source of unconditional love, with whom we shared the good and the not so good moments of our lives, often for many years.

"The grief is commensurate with the place that the animal had in our lives.
We are beings of attachment, so if the dog is important, the grief is important."

- Marie-Ève Cotton, psychiatrist

How do you support a person who is coping with pet loss?

We don't always know what to do or say to someone who has just lost their pet, especially if we don't really understand the full scope of the relationship and the grief they are experiencing. Grieving owners usually appreciate the opportunity to openly discuss the loss and grief they are feeling. This is an ideal occasion to remember the special qualities of the pet and to emphasize its uniqueness. Don't hesitate to initiate a conversation by asking the person to talk about their pet; talking about it will help them connect with the reality of the loss.

If you are less comfortable and apprehensive about having to deal with difficult emotions, you can offer them a gift that symbolizes the memory of their lost pet... who, let's remember, was probably like their baby! Honouring the memory of the animal is a healthy and positive way to live through pet grief in a more comforting way.

A transitional object to help with pet loss

Just like the blanket that allowed us to move from our mother's arms to the wide world, it is normal to need transition mementos to ease the separation. These items do not prevent the grieving process from evolving... on the contrary: at the beginning, they can reassure and allow us to gently soften the void left by their absence.

Let's not forget our children, for whom the pet could represent a confidant, a presence, an unconditional welcome... Let's tell them the real deal. It is important to tell the truth to a child, no matter how the animal died; whether it was a tragic end, a decision to euthanize, or other.

To help them transition from the presence to the absence of their pet, children will appreciate a meaningful and symbolic memento. Let's think of soft, enveloping, soothing items; but above all, personalized ones to pay tribute to the departed pet and continue to hold it close to their heart.